Pros and cons of a friendly face in the crowd

When you think about it, it is amazing so few sales presentations end in bloodshed. Face it: unfamiliar people are scary. They are strangers, and you know what mom told you about strangers. You can't know just by looking at them if they harbor you goodwill or are fixing imaginary needles in your eyes. They could be contemptuous of your presentation, jealous of your achievements, bored by your delivery.

You tell yourself to be positive, and assume they are just friends you haven't met yet. But if they are your friends, why haven't they stepped forward until now?

Some speakers try to overcome the stranger factor by stocking the room with a friendly face or two -- a colleague, a friend, perhaps even a family member. The logic is simple enough: If you can make occasional contact with a face you know is on your side, you will be emboldened to imagine the whole room is pulling for you.

The theory is great. But I'm here to tell you that it doesn't always work out that way when the spotlight is on you. First of all, never tell loved ones that they are "plants," or colleagues that they are "shills." But that is just the beginning. I count nine major problems with friendly faces:

They pull you away from the level you need to be talking about. Though the plant has mega-friendly intentions, he or she may not have a clue what you are talking about. You will feel you need to pause from time to time to explain things the rest of the audience takes for granted. You will drift. You will find yourself pausing in the midst of a discussion of your product, antacid tablets, to express your profound sympathies for anyone suffering from debilitating gas attacks.

They create a fourth front. Giving a presentation these days requires that you be something of a traffic cop, switching attention from your laptop, to the projection screen, to the looks on your audience's faces. Your mental resources are stretched to capacity -- there's nothing left to give your plant.

You feel at liberty to make special contact with the plant. You are weak. The person you brought along has become a kind of psychic crutch. You find yourself making repeated eye contact with the plant, knowing they have to smile affirmatively. Meanwhile the other attendees are wondering what is going on between the two of you. Did you or did you not just wink at her?

They tell you what no one else will. It can be very useful while you rehearse your talk to learn you are going too fast or lingering too long over slides or have something caught in your teeth. It is less useful to have a colleague hissing at you from the eight row back that your zipper is half open or there is a sock static-clinging to your jacket.

They are just a wee bit too supportive. After a brief smattering of applause from the audience, you hear one person continue to clap, just a bit too enthusiastically, and for just a few seconds too long. The last couple of claps seem to take forever, echoing through the hall. One audience member is craning backward and see who could possibly be so excited about industrial applications for anodized chain-link fence.

They may not be familiar with conventions. Inappropriate audience behavior detracts from even the smoothest presentation. The proper etiquette at a Modern Language Association presentation, for instance, is to listen politely, nod occasionally, and ask questions afterward. It is not appropriate to call out Amen! and Say it! after every sentence in a talk about 17th century French prosody.

They frighten you. You brought them for reassurance, but this can boomerang. If their presence is not helping, what do they do? It is never a good sign to look up at a colleague you have planted in the back row and see he is watching you through a slit between his ring and middle fingers.

They remind you what is at stake. You need a clear head and an unflappable attitude to successfully describe your company's line of insurance products. But there is your spouse, urging you on bravely with her smile while she twists her handkerchief into little knots. You can read her mind. Success today means paying for orthodontic work tomorrow, patching that leaky roof, paying back that early withdrawal from your IRA. Soon you are standing in silence before a hundred people, all thoughts about your line of CD-ROM professional directories replaced by itemizing next month's checking account statement.

They embarrass you. It's great knowing there is someone out there in the folding chairs that you can count on come hell or high water. But there is a fine line between supportiveness and idolatry. Mental note: next time, bring someone other than your mother.

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