Date of publication: January 30, 2000

"How I Became Scots-Irish"

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I'm astonished the Irish ever got it together to invade anyone else.

K.M.


Perhaps you've heard that the Irish gave the Scots the bagpipes as a joke, but the Scots didn't get it.

R.K.


New Haven has historically been 40% Italian, 30% Irish, and <10% Scottish (not including the recent minority additions). My family has been here a little over a century (now represented by ~500 descendents). So I suspect, the drunk girl was one of my relatives.

Stuart Farquharson

PS - A couple of drams can really make the pipes quite moving. A couple more drams and the pipes can be down right annoying.


Superb column. As a semi scotts-irish myself (along with 2/3's of the continent), I can relate.

Ah, Michael, a grrrrrand, grrrrrrand column - I'd give more than a wee tad of my soul to be a fooken Scot. Alas, I'm a ... German thru and thru.

merf


I grew up thinking I was Scotch-Irish, with the emphasis on the Irish. In recent years, I have come to learn that: 1. Hamilton is a lowland SCOTS clan, having had NOTHING to do with the Irish 2. My branch of Hamilton has been in the New World since before the American revolution (turns out a great-something-or-other relative was an officer in Washington's army, maybe even Alexander Himself) 3. Hamilton is the premier duke of Scotland (the Duke of Hamilton hands the British crown to the Archbishop of Canterbury at all the coronation ceremonies) 4. The lowland Scots Hamiltons (at least historically) are a rapscallion bunch (The clan motto is "Through" - the equivalent of "TIMBER!" - because two of the early clan members disguised themselves as woodcutters in order to successfully escape the pursuit of relatives of a man they'd murdered) 5. Although I do a decent Irish dialect (only Charlie Boone & I have taught the Stage Dialects course to acting students at the U of M), especially on March 17th, I'm better off overall claiming Scots descent.

Och Aye!

W.H.


Hi, Mike! The eight attempts to get the computer to recognize my modem, a kick at the wastebasket (sparing the computer, "it was an aol trick, not the machine's fault" - anger management (must be the Irish in me) - my mantra for the past two days), and a too early attitude problem were just remedied.... I howl! I circulate this along with a virtual kick in the backside to a few Farqers that just don't get it! I thank you and am able to proclaim with pride, Fhionnla's Rule! I smile, and enjoy a needed LAUGH! You are great...

K.F.


Having grown up as a Griffin, but very aware of my mother's heritage as a Chisholm, I can relate. My middle sister had a Claddagh theme at her wedding and my youngest had a bagpipe procession through the park from the church to the reception. We too are a little confused, but happily ignorant.

P.J.


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[IMAGE]

I grew up in an industrial part of northern Ohio where Irish people were few and far between. As a result, my sense of being Irish was patched together from books. I imagined an Irishman like myself to be an amalgam of Oscar Wilde, Bernard Shaw, and Jonathan Swift - quick-witted and infuriating.

So that's what I set out to be. I attended a Scots college in Ohio, Wooster. Our cheerleaders wore tartans and the band played the pipes. I thought it was all highly risible.

It wasn't until Rachel was accepted to nursing school at Yale in 1980 that I learned about the working Irish of the east - "the scrum of the earth" was how one Southie resident on 60 Minutes described them.

I remember driving through New Haven one winter's night and saw a figure in the road, half blanketed with snow. When I jumped down from my truck to investigate, I saw it was a girl of about 15. A very drunk girl.

I loaded her into the pickup to warm her up, and asked her where she lived. Half conscious, she dismissed me saying, "You know where I live."

I became very stern at this point. "Young lady, I do not know where you live, and I'm very afraid that it was a mistake picking you up off the street."

The girl, who must have weighed about 80 pounds, opened an eye, sized me up and said, "You know what you are?"

"No," I said, "what am I?"

"You're a fooken Mick," she said. "You know how I know?"

"No, how do you know?"

"Because," she hiccupped, "I'm a fooken Mick, too." And passed out.

I delivered my young guest to the constabulary, but I could not shake the feeling of having been told something true. Something … disturbing.

So 20 years pass. I've resettled in the cozy Celtic city of St. Paul. My mom, a crack genealogist - now, you know what that means -- has taught me much about my ancestors. It turns out that, tartan cheerleaders to the contrary notwithstanding, I am Scots Irish.

My mother explained to me how the Irish invaded Scotland and settled there, and the Scots, including the Finleys - a wonderful band of individuals, to hear the tales -- responded in kind to Ireland a bit later, resulting in a mixing of the two races. If I said I had a clear idea of it I'd be lying, but there's the gist of it.

At about this time, I start getting mail from the Clan Farquharson, a Scots genealogical newsletter. It turns out that if you are a Finley, then you belong to Clan Farquharson. In fact, you have bloody little choice in the matter. So one evening I bundle my suddenly Scots family - my spouse plus the two wee bairns - and attend a splendid Scots bonfire on a bluff overlooking the Mississippi.

There I chatted with a grand little Farquharson gentleman, about five foot two. Oh, he was wee, but he was extremely masculine about it. I told him I was told I was Scottish, but I never felt much kinship with the Scots, that I was raised thinking I was just Irish.

He eyed me keenly. "Well, do you like the pipes, lad?"

I allowed as how, when the mood was right, the droning of the pipes - I was thinking of halftime performances at Wooster -- could put me in a certain mood. But at all times I retained free will, able to take the pipes or leave them be.

He shook his head disgustedly. "Aye laddie, if ye don't like the pipes," he said, "ye're not a Scot."

That unkind remark must have spurred something in me, because I have gone all out the past few years to become a better Irishman and a Scot. I joined Clan Farquharson. My family hosted a boy from Belfast this past summer - although I am convinced he was more the cause of The Troubles than the victim of them.

And I became president of the Minnesota Folk Festival, which will put on a huge free show September 23, featuring a proportionate share of melodies of the British Isles, on the state capitol grounds in St. Paul.

And you know what I like best of it - the sorrowful, straining sound of the Irish pipes. Yep, they have them there, too.

Looking back on it all, I feel I was given the word by two supernatural visitors, the booze-breathed girl in the snow in New Haven, and the banty rooster gent by the blazing bonfire.

From the fire and the ice, I'd like to summon their spirits, if I could, and address their accusations. Because I understand now. I understand everything.

It's true, it's true. I am a fooken Mick.

But you should be knowing I'm a fooken Scot, to boot.

 

 

To learn more about the Minnesota Folk Festival, visit http://mfinley.com/folk

America's Best-Loved Futurist(TM), Michael Finley has a free gift for visitors to http://mfinley.com.


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