Date of publication: April 11, 1999
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Winner, Financial Times/Booz Allen & Hamilton Global Business Book Award, Best Management Book - The Americas, 1995
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Comments on this column:
Bob & Ray live on... I *love* it!
check out this "must-have" accessory--
http://www.zdnet.com/products/stories/reviews/0,4161,2234787,00.html
Gotcha!
-- Carl
Paul, think of it as "sampling." -Mike
"Way back when I was growing up," (circa 1974) we used to listen to WOR
radio during dinner while Bob n' Ray did their "Mary Backstage" serial and other skits from New York. I think it must have been a lot like what radio used to be like before tv.
I remember Bob (or was it Ray) used to cut into Wally Ballou
broadcasting live "from location."
You'd hear: "-ly Ballou here in Times Square with a fast-breaking
story on ..." In the background could be heard the sound of gunshots and women screaming and all of the other sounds one might expect in New York. None of which seemed to distract Ballou from his important story on edible packaging or cranberry bogs or who-knows-what.
John B.
The other day (November 22--the date has some resonance in this tale) it was the 60th birthday of one of Audrey's old friends, a guy named ___. A long time ago, his father was a writer--a columnist for the Minneapolis paper, and ___ had some experiences of the son of a local hero, but for decades now, he has lived close to the bone in a subsidized apartment, working in a co-op grocery.
He has people over a few times a year, such as his birthday. We went over there and, during the day, we took a little walk. We took a route I had never used before, by the Mississippi River, below a hill on which the University campus overlooks the river. Water and high buildings across it (including a blindingly bright stainless steel pile of tilted cylinders--the art museum, just on the edge of what I call
the John Berryman memorial bridge--I've walked it thousands of
times--Berryman jumped from it) on one side, road then in the gloomy shade
trees, and behind them a dark stone wall sort of holding up the little
park we had descended from, looming above us on the other.
We heard excited manifold cawing and looked across the road at a crowd of crows whirling and flapping and flying around a certain tree. More crows were zooming in from the campus riverbank. I made a joke about "calling all crows" and just then Audrey spied a bald eagle sitting in the tree.
It was so hard to believe that she didn't recognize it at first, and when she pointed it out to me, my brain also refused to resolve the image. It was stretching one wing downward below the branch, grey pinions showing underneath, and I was unable to recognize it until it sat up straight and did a suitable imitation of the backside of a quarter.
The contrast between the silent eagle and the hysterical crows was
marvelous!
We were on the other side of the road, the side closer to the river. There was a bike path between us and the cars. ___ is a calm guy, so he looked a while, then walked ahead. His 67 year old sister, an impoverished semiretired photographer (to describe her in a snapshot!) is more excitable. She started shouting at the bikers whizzing by: "Eagle! Eagle!", but no one even took a glance. They just frowned at us a little, probably wondering what you have to do to get away from the nutcases around here.
I thought it was cool, this little old lady adopting a child's way of
acting. And it was perfect somehow, that these bicycle riders looking for a taste of nature and spirituality no doubt, refused to listen while we begged them to look! look! look at the miracle!
-- Barry B.
What's remarkable is that this collection of manifestos about the new age a'dawning contains proclamations by Tony Blair, Al Gore, Charles Handy, Nicholas Negroponte, Arthur C. Clarke, Alvin Toffler ... and me.
Mike, can you legally use Wally Ballou? I know that Ray is dead and
Bob is ancient but can you be prosecuted for filching? -- Paul
Your little nod to Bob and Ray's Wally Ballou brought back memories.
![[IMAGE]](http://mfinley.com/gif/finley.gif)
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Hello, this is Wally Ballou, your Live Eye on Spring COMDEX, speaking to you direct from McCormick Place.
Spring is a happening in a big way in Chicago, as technology companies from Silicon Valley and the whole world round have gathered to display their latest offerings.
I am standing at the TRD booth, and the center of attention here is the recently unveiled Proteas Series IV. All day long people have been queuing up to the exhibit to admire its sleek styling and to pore over its state of the arts specs.
TRD bills the Series IV as "the first truly digital office productivity hub," and sales support the claim -- over 20,000 units have been shipped in the U.S., and a wait list has formed for new orders.
I'm reading from the spec sheet for the Series IV, and it's quite a feat of engineering and design. It comes packed with a pair of 366MHz chips and boasts 256kpbs data thruput. It says here that the small footprint, slimline design, and ultraflat contour make it an obvious choice for space-conscious offices. Plus its dual-hinge design allows it to swing open, stand up, and rest on its side. You can also lean it against a wall.
But here comes an exhibit facilitator to help explain the Series IV. Hi there. I'm reading your name badge -- Guy Mandible, customer solutions manager for TRD. So Guy, can you tell our listeners, how are people reacting to the Series IV?
Guy:
Well, as you can see, a line has formed around the exhibit. The Series IV has the power for today's most demanding applications, and the flexibility for tomorrow's.LIVE EYE:
Great, Guy. And tell me, what does the Series IV do, exactly?Guy:
It comes in five colors, exceeds all existing ergonomic requirements, and is available with infrared ports and automatic synchronization. Best of all, it's 100% interoperable.LIVE EYE:
That's terrific. And what use is it put to? What does it do? The people back home want to know.Guy:
Why don't you tell me what you want to do, and I'll tell you if the Series IV does it.LIVE EYE:
Uh, is it a server?Guy:
That's it. You were warned about unscripted questions, Mr. Ballou. Mable, put in a call to security.LIVE EYE:
Hah -- that won't be necessary! I'm just trying to explain to my listening audience what this nifty doohickey here does. Turning to some of the COMDEX passersby here -- you, sir, what's your name?Bystander:
Cuspidor. Franklin Cuspidor. Poker chip broker. I don't make 'em. I just locate 'em and sell 'em.LIVE EYE:
And I see you have your eye on the new Series IV.Bystander:
Wouldn't you? We had good success with the Series III where we are, so we've put in an order for three of them. We've made the Series IV the heart of our corporate strategy for the next four quarters.LIVE EYE:
Excellent. And how will you use them?Bystander:
Fraid I'm not following you there.LIVE EYE:
What will the machines do for your business? The poker chip brokerage.Bystander:
The plan is to keep them right upfront, where visitors can see them. See those lights flashing? You can travel one end of this hall to the other, and you won't see a set of flashing lights like these. It sends a signal about what sort of company we are. This isn't about poker chips, you know. It's about our vision of the future.LIVE EYE:
No, I meant, what function will the machines actually perform?Security:
[arriving on the scene] This the guy who's giving you grief?Guy: Get him out of here, him and his unscripted questions.
LIVE EYE:
This was Wally Ballou, your Live Eye at Spring COMDEX, being escorted from McCormick Place.Bystander:
Hey, no one ever got fired for buying a TRD.
America's Best-Loved Futurist (TM), Michael Finley has never actually been to COMDEX, but he imagines it would be something like this.
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Get your signed copy of The NEW Why Teams Don't Work by Mike & Harvey Robbins from Berrett-Koehler Publishers Just click on the book cover! A fully revised second edition of this award-winning classic by Harvey Robbins and Michael Finley Paperback
Winner, Financial Times/Booz Allen & Hamilton Global Business Book Award, Best Management Book - The Americas, 1995
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America's Best-Loved Futurist(TM), Michael Finley has a free gift for visitors to http://mfinley.com.
