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I expected it to be a bit distracting, with the whizzing and exploding sounds their game programs make. What I didn't expect is that some of their favorite programs would worm their way into my head.
Anyway, I've started having the strangest dreams. In it, there is an attractive, mysterious, redheaded woman skulking about, evidently wiping fingerprints from the scenes of various crimes. She reminded me of someone, but it bedeviled me who it was exactly.
Perhaps the young Katherine Hepburn -- sleek, brainy, stylish -- and intent on objectives outside the bounds of conventional morality.
Maybe, Molly Ringwald?
Always, this woman seemed to know me, and to tease me with a familiar wink.
After the first couple of times, it hit me. The redhead had to be Carmen Sandiego, the best known software personality this side of Luigi Mario. Somehow, without my being aware, she had insinuated herself in my subconscious, while my kids played her famous geography games.
Carmen, of course, is the enigmatic ringleader of the international crime syndicate that has made life intolerable for Interpol and other agencies. She is a cipher, frankly. No one knows if she's out for herself or of she's aligned with some larger geopolitical interest. She seems too worldly to be on the side of the Commies or Khomeini, who both still flourished when the first Carmen program was unveiled in 1985. It would not surprise me if, once the dust settles on this Carmen Sandiego thing, her footprints led directly to Ross Perot.
The things she steals offer some clue -- usually some sort of precious treasure or landmark, such as the Statue of Liberty's torch, the Hope diamond or the stones of Stonehenge. I believe she seeks not riches for her own sake, but the power to sow uncertainty in the minds of the masses. It's a wild and brazen approach to crime that only adds, in my mind, to this winsome woman's allure.
The legend of Carmen Sandiego began with the breakdown of Broderbund founder Doug Carlston's '69 Chevy Impala outside Eugene, OR in 1979. Unable to travel further, Carlston settled down and started an educational software company with his brother Gary (broder = brother).
The young company's first big hit was 1984's The Print Shop, the ubiquitous poster, card and banner program now in its umpteenth incarnation, with total sales of over 4 million units. But it was the auburn-coifed temptress in the red raincoat, Carmen Sandiego, who gave the fledgling company a personality.
Kids love the Sandiego games because they're fun. They get to practice their deductive skills, chasing down world-class mugs of the caliber of Ray Zarumpus, Moms DeWard and Hugo Yurway. That they learn about geography and history in the process is gravy. That they play the games as happily at home as at school is almost unheard of.
Developed with Apple in mind, the programs long ago crossed over for IBM users. At last count, there were six Carmen programs, accounting for sales of over 3 million units:
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego
Where in the USA is Carmen Sandiego
Where in Space is Carmen Sandiego
Where in Europe is Carmen Sandiego
Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego
Where in America's Past is Carmen Sandiego
There are also deluxe CD-ROM editions of World, USA and America's Past. Meanwhile, the Sandiego likeness has been optioned to a PBS game show, kids book publisher, Nintendo game, T-shirts, board games, record albums, mouse pads, puzzles, backpacks -- even a full-length live-action feature film.
It's been a year and a half now that Broderbund, buoyed by Carmen's market clout, went public, starting at $11 per share. Last weekend the stock was cruising at $35. Who says crime doesn't pay?
And that's my whole point, I guess. Sure it's great that kids are learning where Zanzibar is, and who Guy Fawkes was, and what gumbo is. I think that's just super. But is it such a good idea that we glamorize wickedness? How many of our fine young people will be led astray by this felonious winking woman? What lessons are we teaching our kids exactly? What good is it to map out the entire world, and time, and outer space, if we risk losing our moral compass in the process?
Is that what we want? I don't think so.
My kids act as if it it's just a joke, a lighthearted lark. "I don't think she's really bad, Dad," said daughter Daniele. "It's just for fun," said my son Jon.
Right, kids. The thing about Sandiego is, you can catch all her henchmen and put them all away in ice, but they say you never catch Carmen herself. She's pretty doggone cunning. Of course, only kids play the games. Get a real adult in there, someone with a little something extra in the deduction department, and the game would be afoot the, I tell you. I would catch that titian-tressed malefactor, and when I did, hoo boy.
As I was saying just yesterday to Rachel, my lovely, red-headed bride --
Hey!
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