Mike Finley
Columns from over the years

Envy (Garrison Keillor)

Teams & Terror (October 18, 2002)

Finding Work After 50 (September 11, 2002)

Burntside (August 9, 2002)

Paula Kelly (August 4, 2002)

But the city beckoned (July 29, 2002)

On the Cod (July 23, 2002)

The Rains Came (June 21, 2002)

Meatballs (June 27, 2002)

Hiatus (June 17, 2002)

The Art of the Blog (November 2002)

Silicon Valley Roots (October 2001)

Steve Case and the Customer Service Fairy (rejected for publication)

True Story (December 11, 2001)

Curling (November 17, 2001)

In the Como Woods (October 26, 2001)

Perspective (October 8, 2001)

Message from America to Its CEOs (September 17, 2001)

United States (September 17, 2001)

When You Meet a Classmate Who Has Been Burned (September 17, 2001)

My Showdown with Peter Ostroushko (September 17, 2001)

Richard Broderick, "By the Waters of Babylon" (September 15, 2001)

Florence McCready (September 12, 2001)

It'll Never Happen Again (September 4, 2001)

My Breakfast with Eugene (August 1, 2001)

The Lightning That Doesn't Stop... (July 17, 2001)

Upon This Rock ... (July 11, 2001)

The Big Bonito (July 11, 2001)

Thompson's Chicken Ranch (June 30, 2001)

Charles Manson and the Sons of Troy (July 11, 2001)

Camping on the Faultline (July 11, 2001)

Mail Order Ministry (June 30, 2001)

Hippie Days (June 27, 2001)

Bing Cherries (June 17, 2001)

A Tale of Two Hilltops (June 13, 2001)

The Busy, Busy Day (June 3, 2001)

Like a Rolling Stone (Memorial Day 2001)

A Ghostwriter's Tale (May 24, 2001)

7th Grade (May 14, 2001)

Serpent (May 6, 2001)

The Showboat (April 29, 2001)

A Stab at the Truth (April 25, 2001) Plus: FEEDBACK

Squandered Resistance (April 17, 2001)

The Shoe at the Top of the Stairs (April 17, 2001)

River Rise (April 10, 2001)

Poodle Update (April 1, 2001)

Mr. Finley Goes to Washington (April 1, 2001)

The Unnatural (March 22, 2001)

Forget It, Jake (March 14, 2001)

The Greatest Party Ever Held (March 18, 2001)

Down with Freedom (March 11, 2001)

Lucinda McKenzie (March 7, 2001)

Bully Pulpit (March 9, 2001)

A Day in the Life (February 5, 2001)

The Coach's Daughter (February 18, 2001)

Get Away! (January 17, 2001)

Don't Bother me (December 8, 2000)

Republicans and Democrats (December 15, 2000)

Pass the Test (December 13, 2001)

The Blue Bicycle (December 25, 2001)

Happy Defragmentation (November 2001)

When Worlds Collide (September 2001)

I'm from Missouri (Now) (August 2001)

The United States of Microsoft (July 2001)

Secure Premises (April 2001)

Twenty Four Seven (February 1, 2001)

Lost in Space (March 2001)

A View from the Bluff (January 2001)

The Other Side of the Tracks (January 2001)

The Trouble with Time (December 8, 2001)

2000

The Other Side of the Tracks (December 1, 2000)

The Worst Technologies of the Last 1,000 Years (December 2000)

Cellar, Beware (December 2000)

Candidate & Master (December 30, 2000)

Moron Awards 2001 (December 31, 2000)

Don't Bother me (December 8, 2000)

Republicans and Democrats (December 15, 2000)

Pass the Test (December 13, 2001)

The Blue Bicycle (December 25, 2001)

The Trouble with Time (December 8, 2001)

The Boat Is Full (December 2, 2001)

The Other Side of the Tracks (December 1, 2000)

The Worst Technologies of the Last 1,000 Years (December 2000)

Cellar, Beware (December 2000)

Stupid People (November 23, 2000)

Invisible Angels (November 17, 2000)

Techno-Smear (November 8, 2000)

Sorry (November 5, 2000)

Pow! Charlie Hahn Lets Me Have It Right in the Kisser (October 29, 2000)

Achy Breaky Head (October 29, 2000)

Here We Go Round the Mulberry Tree (November 2000)

But I'm Not on a Team (November 3, 2000)

Elect an Expressive: George W. for Thespian-in-Chief (October 27, 2000)

Endorsement: Vote for Gore and Bush (October 22, 2000)

Young Mike vs Old Mike (October 19, 2000)

Wail of the Internet Siren (October 27, 2000)

One Man's Meter (October 13, 2000)

Bathtub Madonna (October 9, 2000)

Al Gore's Lies (October 8, 2000)

OnYourSide.com, R.I.P. (October 6, 2000)

Retreat to the Future! (October 2000)

Yugoslavia's Hour (September 26, 2000)

PC Helper (October 7, 2000)

Demassify the Olympics! (October 7, 2000)

Sometimes I Wonder (September 20, 2000)

Interim Report on Minnesota Folk Festival (September 16, 2000)

Two Old Techies (September 16, 2000)

Rage Against the Machine! (September 10, 2000)

Monarchs & Viceroys (September 9, 2000)

Up the Amazon (September 8, 2000)

LABOR DAY: A Fish in the Flood (September 4, 2000)

A Solution to Road Rage (September 2000)

79 Snoopys All in a Line (August 31, 2000)

S.O.S. - Save Our Spam! (August 12, 2000)

Long Live Wishy-Washy (August 2000)

Legislature Votes $865 Million to Folk Festival (August 20, 2000)

Letter to Sid Hartman (August 12, 2000)

The Honey Guide (August 18, 2000)

Gee, Whiz (August 8, 2000)

Tasmanian Devils (August 10, 2000)

10 Cold Questions for George Bush (August 2, 2000)

Prayer for Peace (July 26, 2000)

NOTE TO READERS #2 (July 25, 2000)

Conversation with the Candidates (August 12, 2000)

Imelda's Closet (August 2000)

Folk Strategy (August 2, 2000)

Lake Street USA (July 23, 2000)

The Killer Shrew (July 31, 2000)

Review: Lawrence Sutin's A Postcard Memoir (July 23, 2000)

Thanks, Everybody! (July 13, 2000)

The Laptop That Thought It Was a Cat (July 2000)

Sheep Dip (July 22, 2000)

Greatfull for the Worm (July 12, 2000)

The Woolly Mammoth (July 11, 2000)

REVIEW: Rich Broderick: Woman Lake (July 6, 2000)

REVIEW: Charles Potts: Nature Lovers (July 3, 2000)

King of the Techno Hill (July 2, 2000)

A Big Fat Hen (July 2, 2000)

Stop Being English! (July 4, 2000)

Jungle Larry & B'wana Mike (July 9, 2000)

Apocryphal Business Fables (July 2, 2000)

Silverbacks (July 4, 2000)

More Zany Computer Humor (June 25, 2000)

Cynical Thoughts about the Microsoft Breakup (June 8, 2000)

"The Amoeba Organization" (June 25, 2000)

"Appreciate the Barnacle" (June 18, 2000)

Conversation with a Father (June 18, 2000)

The Electronic Candidate (June 11, 2000)

Bran Ferren's Story (May 20, 2000)

Memorial Day 2000 (May 20, 2000)

NOTE TO READERS #1 (May 20, 2000)

The Thing Inside Your Head (May 2000)

Beyond Plasma (May 28, 2000)

Seminary Days (May 2000)

Invoking the Manson Clause (May 2000)

Years of Nerve (May 2000)

My Literary Feud (May 2000)

Desire of the Everlasting Hills (May 22, 2000)

I, Doctor Morbius (May 15, 2000)

The Napster Monster (May 1, 2000)

Bill Buckley We Miss You (April 30, 2000)

The Bat of Minerva (April 30, 2000)

Branded! (April 23, 2000)

Inside the Canine Head (April 7, 2000)

The Michael Finley Worry Index (April 7, 2000)

The Sins of Microsoft (April 5, 2000)

Cisco in the Crisco (April 12, 2000)

The skin over a young girl's wrist (April 3, 2000)

Poetry, Incorporated (April 3, 2000)

I Will Fool No More Forever (April 2000)

Why We Are Black (March 25, 2000)

Something Wicked This Way Converges (March 18, 2000)

Bees in the Head (April 16, 2000)

A Fistful of Dog Food (March 2000)

Report from the Death March (April 2, 2000)

Night Shift at the GOP Phone Bank (March 26, 2000)

My Computer, My Friend (March 3, 2000)

"Dotcom at the Dogyard" (March 20, 2000)

"Lessons from The Mikado" (March 12, 2000)

"Borrowing from Pat to Pay Paul" (March 17, 2000)

"Last one in is a rotten egg" (February 27, 2000)

cipher, erase ... (Presidents Day 2000)

Waiting for South Carolina (February 8, 2000)

In Spite of the Amputations (February 6, 2000)

Shakespeare in Love (February 14, 2000)

The Ice Father (February 14, 2000)

A Fresh Start (February 13, 2000)

Stand Up for James Brown, Y'all (February 6, 2000)

How I Became Scots-Irish (January 30, 2000)

My Life with Kathleen Soliah (January 23, 2000)

A Bonfire of Creative Destruction (January 9, 2000)

Dog Down the Well (January 5, 2000)

Cold Wind, Mad Dog (January 3, 2000)

1999

A Mitzvah for the future (December 26, 1999)

A Burlington Coat Factory Christmas (Dec. 25 1999)

The Winter of Our Content (Dec. 12 1999)

Correspondence with an autoresponder (Dec. 5 1999)

"Democratic Erections" (Nov. 28, 1999)

"A Slice of Techie Pie" (Nov. 21, 1999)

"The Wake of the Blue Poodle" (Nov. 14, 1999)

"Ethics Scandal Jolts School Board Campaign" (Nov. 1, 1999)

"To whom it may concern..." (October 31, 1999)

Nothing but blue skies from now on (October 1999)

The Hills Have Eyes (October 24, 1999)

The Silken Thread (October 17, 1999)

The Extraterrestrial at Home (October 10, 1999)

Mighty Joe Young Is Missing! (October 3, 1999)

Welcome to Toner Country, USA (September 26, 1999)

Big Information vs. the Giant Dirtball (September 19, 1999)

Computers and the Holocaust (September 12, 1997)

Labor Day Archetypes (September 5, 1997)

1999

A Camera in My Head (August 29, 1999)

Twain Compliant (August 15, 1999)

Of Politics, Processors, and Poetry (August 8, 1999)

Deadbeats on Parade (August 1, 1999)

Once More for Spider John (July 25, 1999)

Flowers in the Dirt (July 18, 1999)

The Book I Meant to Write (July 13, 1999)

An Electric Car in Your Garage?(July 11, 1999)

Suffering Succotash (July 10, 1999)

Born on the 4th of July(July 4, 1999)

Slammed!(June 27, 1999)

The Old Scout and the Three Strikes of Life(June 20, 1999)

The Ultimate Technology (June 20, 1999)

You May Already Be a Luddite (June 11, 1999)

The Lure of the Merchant Credit Card(June 7, 1999)

The Conversation(June 2, 1999)

Internet Bottom Feeders (June 2, 1999)

2029: A Space Anniversary (May 30, 1999)

Me and My Jornada (May 23, 1999)

Go Telnet on the Mountain: Folk Song vs Biztech (May 16, 1999)

The Etiquette of Messing with Someone Else's Computer (January 16, 1994)

The READ.ME File You Wish You Never Read (December 25, 1995)

The Greatest Arcade Hero of Them All (May 9, 1999)

Yugoslavia: You've Got Mail (May 2, 1999)

Fixing Hamlet (April 1999)

A Question for the Animal Liberation Front (April 1999)

I Just Want to Do My Jig Saw Puzzle (April 18, 1999)

Your Live Eye at Spring COMDEX (April 11, 1999)

Easter Eggs and Brain Tumors (April 4, 1999)

The Emperor's New Computer (March 27, 1999)

The Itinerary of the Internet Cat (March 21, 1999)

What Can a White Man Do? (March 14, 1999)

The Big Cry (March 11, 1999)

I Have Seen the Future and It Is Old (March 7, 1999)

The Age of Sensors (February 28, 1999)

The Devil's Computer (February 21, 1999)

All Valentines Eve (February 13, 1999)

I Met the Planet Finder (February 14, 1999)

The Machines (February 14, 1999)

The Dog Internet (December 21, 1998)

Rendering Unto Microsoft (February 7, 1999)

Between Economies: A Tale Most Micawber (January 31, 1999)

In Praise of Shamelessness (January 27, 1999)

Ask Techno Answer Man! (January 24, 1999)

Impeachment Blues (January 14, 1999)

The Clever and the Good (January 15, 1999)

What the heck Are Future Shoes? (January 17, 1999)

Neil Young Bites the Dust (January 10, 1999)

The Sound and the Flurry (January 3, 1999)

New Years Resolutions, 1999 (January 1, 1999)

1998

1999 'Moron' Award Winners Announced (December 27, 1998)

Death, Hell, & Santa Claus, (December 25, 1998)

Greensleeve, A Christmas Poem (December 20, 1998)

Torn to Bits: A Fable for the Information Age (December 12 1998)

The Dog Internet (December 21, 1998)

A Rose in December (December 6, 1998)

How Many Workstations Has the Pope? (November 30, 1998)

The Pregnant Policeman (November 22, 1998)

The Man in the Plastic Garbage Can (November 15, 1998)

Hurrah for Minnesota! Hurrah for Democracy! (November 4, 1998)

My Brush with Fame (November 8, 1998)

The Future Is Falling (November 1, 1998)

Are We Getting Studiper? Devolution in Action (November 1998)

The Dog of the Future (October 25, 1998)

Computers and Prunes: A Cautionary Tale (September Computer User 1998)

Is Your Car TV-Ready? (October 18, 1998)

Farewell to the Pioneer Press (October 19, 1998)

Columbus in the reading room: a Moebius trip (October 12, 1998)

My 15 Minutes of Fame (September Computer User 1998)

Pretty Vacant (August Computer User 1998)

Hotrodding (July Computer User 1998)

John Henry Was a Steel Drivin' Man (Hermes 3000) (April Computer User 1998

The War Machine (March Computer User 1998)

Everything I Know I Learned from My PC (January Computer User 1998)

Spam Takes a Holiday (March Computer User 1998)

11 Worst Misfortunes to Befall a Road Warrior (January 1998) (full-length article)

Gloomy Guesses about the Coming Global Meltdown (October 5, 1998)

What Hath God Wrought? Telegraphy in the News! (September 28, 1998)

Mortality a Vexing Problem for Computer Buyers (September 21, 1998)

Warning Signs You May Be Going Overboard Online (September 14, 1998)

Labor Day with Peter, Paul & Mary (September 7, 1998)

My Dinner with Daniele (August 24, 1998)

Huzzahs for the Digital Footsoldiers (August 24, 1998)

Microsoft Reeducation Camp (August 17, 1998)

Present Without Being Present (August 10, 1998)

A Banner Day for Tacky Advertising (August 3, 1998)

The Boys & Dads of Summer (July 27, 1998)

Who Put the 'Dull' in Adult? (July 20, 1998)

Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest (July 13, 1998)

Kill Your Computer, Then Everyone Else (July 6, 1998)

Multifunction Printers: Buy 'Em in Pairs (June 29, 1998)

Merfuff: Portrait of a Cyberfriend (June 21, 1998)

Taking a Machete to the Jungle of Wires (June 15, 1998)

When The Lights Go Out (June 8, 1998)

A Modest Baseball Proposal (June 1, 1998)

Dear Online Expert: Please Do My Homework (May 25, 1998)

Guerrilla Business (May 18, 1998)

Fortississimo! (May 11, 1998)

A Page for Doctor Kharbanda (April 27, 1998)

The Knockdown, Dragout Battle of the Word Processors (April 13, 1998)

A Scanner in the Works (for April 6, 1998)

Yoohoo -- Is Anybody There? (March 30, 1998)

My Mom's Computer (March 23, 1998)

Does Your Home Need a Cleanroom? (March 16, 1998)

The Spook in the Machine (March 9, 1998)

Microsoft Is the Borg: Prepare to Be Assimilated (March 2, 1998)

A listmaker’s dream (Feb. 23, 1998)

Isn't It Good: Norwegian Opera (Feb. 16, 1998)

Utility Heaven and Futility Hell (Feb. 9, 1998)

Is Matt Drudge the New Tom Paine? (Feb. 2, 1998)

Internet Explorer is Neat ... but Deadly (Jan. 26, 1998)

How I Lost My Guru Status (Jan. 19, 1998)

Keeping the faith in 3D (Jan. 12, 1998)

Beyond the Paperless Office (Jan. 7, 1998)

The Millennium Fiasco ... a Y2K scenario (Jan. 1, 1998)

1997

Web Site Promotion (Dec. 29, 1997)

Spam That Kills (Dec. 22, 1997)

Mike Finley Columns from over the years

Teams & Terror (October 18, 2002)

Finding Work After 50 (September 11, 2002)

Burntside (August 9, 2002)

Paula Kelly (August 4, 2002)

But the city beckoned (July 29, 2002)

On the Cod (July 23, 2002)

The Rains Came (June 21, 2002)

Meatballs (June 27, 2002)

Hiatus (June 17, 2002)

The Art of the Blog (November 2002)

Silicon Valley Roots (October 2001)

Steve Case and the Customer Service Fairy (rejected for publication)

True Story (December 11, 2001)

Curling (November 17, 2001)

In the Como Woods (October 26, 2001)

Perspective (October 8, 2001)

Message from America to Its CEOs (September 17, 2001)

United States (September 17, 2001)

When You Meet a Classmate Who Has Been Burned (September 17, 2001)

My Showdown with Peter Ostroushko (September 17, 2001)

Richard Broderick, "By the Waters of Babylon" (September 15, 2001)

Florence McCready (September 12, 2001)

It'll Never Happen Again (September 4, 2001)

My Breakfast with Eugene (August 1, 2001)

The Lightning That Doesn't Stop... (July 17, 2001)

Upon This Rock ... (July 11, 2001)

The Big Bonito (July 11, 2001)

Thompson's Chicken Ranch (June 30, 2001)

Charles Manson and the Sons of Troy (July 11, 2001)

Camping on the Faultline (July 11, 2001)

Mail Order Ministry (June 30, 2001)

Hippie Days (June 27, 2001)

Bing Cherries (June 17, 2001)

A Tale of Two Hilltops (June 13, 2001)

The Busy, Busy Day (June 3, 2001)

Like a Rolling Stone (Memorial Day 2001)

A Ghostwriter's Tale (May 24, 2001)

7th Grade (May 14, 2001)

Serpent (May 6, 2001)

The Showboat (April 29, 2001)

A Stab at the Truth (April 25, 2001) Plus: FEEDBACK

Squandered Resistance (April 17, 2001)

The Shoe at the Top of the Stairs (April 17, 2001)

River Rise (April 10, 2001)

Poodle Update (April 1, 2001)

Mr. Finley Goes to Washington (April 1, 2001)

The Unnatural (March 22, 2001)

Forget It, Jake (March 14, 2001)

The Greatest Party Ever Held (March 18, 2001)

Down with Freedom (March 11, 2001)

Lucinda McKenzie (March 7, 2001)

Bully Pulpit (March 9, 2001)

A Day in the Life (February 5, 2001)

The Coach's Daughter (February 18, 2001)

Get Away! (January 17, 2001)

Don't Bother me (December 8, 2000)

Republicans and Democrats (December 15, 2000)

Pass the Test (December 13, 2001)

The Blue Bicycle (December 25, 2001)

Happy Defragmentation (November 2001)

When Worlds Collide (September 2001)

I'm from Missouri (Now) (August 2001)

The United States of Microsoft (July 2001)

Secure Premises (April 2001)

Twenty Four Seven (February 1, 2001)

Lost in Space (March 2001)

A View from the Bluff (January 2001)

The Other Side of the Tracks (January 2001)

The Trouble with Time (December 8, 2001)

The Other Side of the Tracks (December 1, 2000)

The Worst Technologies of the Last 1,000 Years (December 2000)

Cellar, Beware (December 2000)

Candidate & Master (December 30, 2000)

Moron Awards 2001 (December 31, 2000)

Don't Bother me (December 8, 2000)

Republicans and Democrats (December 15, 2000)

Pass the Test (December 13, 2001)

The Blue Bicycle (December 25, 2001)

The Trouble with Time (December 8, 2001)

Mike Finley
Columns from over the years